How You Used to Be

So I was sitting on my friend's couch daydreaming by myself today, (as is one of the nicest activities to recap how life is going and find some peace)... and an old friend of mine came to mind. Let's call him... 'Jim'. I remembered how we used to hang out and talk a lot, sometimes into the wee hours of the morning, sometimes going for walks (though it wasn't a romantic thing). He used to really open up sometimes... I didn't know why he seemed to feel safe around me, but he really would talk about his life issues and analyze them, almost just talking to himself, processing. I recall that I would just be quiet, listen, and let him go on while he wrestled with who he was, his up-bringing, and his life. I liked listening. It seemed unique to hear these things from him, because he could be a bit, well, rowdy and rude in front of groups. He would often get some really angry reactions from the quips he came up with in the moment.

Well, I haven't seen Jim in years now... you know how friends drift in and out of your life. Anyway, my thought about it all today was, I hope I affirmed him as a person enough. I mean, do we ever really think about encouraging our friends when we're teenagers? Do we ever really think to encourage them and bless them? Sometimes people just need someone to tell them that they're a good person, and that they're appreciated, and that they have an important place in this world. I couldn't remember if I had ever said that to him. Well, it made me pray for him as I was lying down today.

Then it led me to another thought... what was I like as a person when I was 15? Would I have thought about others that much? Wouldn't it be interesting and embarrassing to go back and watch a hidden movie of yourself at a younger age? Your person is developing so much, and especially when you're a teenager, you're so self-centered, and everything is about you and the attention you get, how you look, how you feel... I know I was probably careless and hurtful to people many a time.

I remember once, a bunch of people from church came over to my family's house for lunch. We all ate together in the kitchen, and then everyone went into the living room to lounge. I was in the kitchen doing something by myself, and this guy, let's call him 'John', came into the room (John was about 7 or 8 years older than me).

"Anna, do you know that sometimes you're REALLY RUDE. The way you glared at me when I made that joke was really awful. You are so cold and mean to me sometimes." he said straight-out.

I was so shocked that I had somehow unknowingly offended him. It really made me think about how I treated people. I mean, he was a little bit forward, but every so often, you need a good verbal spanking like that to put you in your place. Actually, looking at the date, it's about time for another one for me to come along. (Ha ha. Joke. Unless someone really has an issue they'd like to bring up.... preferably in person and not on my blog... ha ha.)

Over and out.

Adios.

Au revoir.