Words

Today, I've been praying and doing the big "R" word... Repenting. Yes, God's been really convicting me of some things. It's to do with words. It's to do with having too many words to say all the time. It's to do with letting gossip come into my conversations way too easily these days.

I have started in the last few days to ask God to change me. I have become aware that I speak before thinking, and before I know it, I've gone and hurt someone, or betrayed someone, or told old stories that don't need to be told anymore. God's really had a magnifying glass in front of my eyes lately, exposing my selfishness in conversation, and making me ask myself, 'Why did I have to cut them off to say MY bit? Why did I need to say that? Was it to make me feel better about myself? Was it to prove that I'm loved or that I'm sensible, or that I'm wise?'

The other day, Dave and I were listening to 'the Message' in audiobook form. The different translation of the New Testament really gave me fresh perspective on it's truths, and I was immediately convicted by every word. I had been silently judging someone I don't even really know for a few years now, and YES, he has his faults (that I have not let him off the hook for), but as I was hearing this 'righteous leader' being described in Acts, I realized that I had NONE of those traits, and he had almost ALL of them. I was SO ashamed!

So my friend Sarah and I prayed and talked together this morning about how we can change our habits to not let our tongues run wild.



Here are some resolutions for me:

-spending time each day practicing silence before God, hearing HIS thoughts, HIS words, and reminding myself what life is all about, hearing who HE says I am.

-I want to let others speak freely without interrupting them.

-I want to really LISTEN to my friends.

-I want to let silence naturally happen when I'm with friends, without trying to fill it with useless thoughts that I don't even care about. Silence is sometimes so peaceful and gives others the space to think and say what's on their minds

-I want to always trust, always protect, always love, and always hope for people in my life.

-no more pegging people with their faults. Let God bring stuff up with them when it's HIS time to do so... otherwise, if I become aware of something, it's God's gift to me in allowing me to support that person in praying for them on my own.

-I want to be slow to speak.

-I want to be a trustworthy, safe friend.

-I want to have God's wisdom come from my mouth, not my own insecure ramblings and opinions.

-I want to be always truthful.

-I want to point out the God-given goodness in people.



I'm sure there's more I'll add to that list soon, as God digs deeper and exposes more aspects of this issue in me. But for now, I thought I'd put this list up for others to see, in hopes that it'll help me remember to stick to it.

Bye for now.