I Spying.

Sometimes when I'm driving in the car alone, I like to spy on people... peek into their lives for a moment. I know, rear view mirrors are for driving safely, but at a red light, they're also very interesting. First thing I notice is how people feel like they're in their own private universes... as though there aren't a dozen other people in their own little pods in a small radius around them. They feel safe to be themselves.

My attention was first drawn watching people in their cars last fall, because for some reason in a week I think I witnessed about 5 fights between people. I just happened to look in the mirror the first time when two people were gesturing and talking angrily at each other, shaking their heads, faces contorted and angry... and then it was as though I was in the middle of half a dozen fights that week. They just kept on happening in the cars around me. It was so strange.

The winter had a lot of dead-looking faces; people exhausted, people tired, people anxious, people leaning their heads against the window, people blank. Now, as summer is here, I see happy faces, smiles, windows rolled down, laughter. It's quite a remarkable change... how easily weather and the time of year affect us all.

Overall, though, I'm always surprised how often people are just blank. They stare. They move as little as possible. They try to give away as little emotion as possible. You'll see that when you walk downtown... all these emotionless faces, trying to keep other people from seeing what's going on inside them... inside their private universe.

Once I did an experiment, for a week... everywhere I went, I let my emotions show on my face. I smiled down the street to myself. I swung my arms and skipped and danced a little. I pondered on the bus. I giggled at funny things. (I'm kind of glad nothing bad happened to me that week... I don't know if I was ready to cry in front of strangers). Something amazing happened. People smiled when they saw me. They stared. They were curious, and surprised, and wanted to watch me. It was very strange, that just by showing my true feelings on my face, people's days seemed brightened. On the bus one evening, as I was going over the Lionsgate Bridge during the sunset, looking over the ocean and smiling. A man approached me at gave me his card... in case I wanted to get into modelling! I laughed to myself, because I knew that he just saw my enjoyment... he saw that moment of delight with God on my face, and wanted to capture it. I almost felt like it was a misinterpretation of the moment.

Since that week, I've made the effort to let my emotions come out a bit more in public. I now and then have a wild and crazy dance in the car to a good song, not caring who sees, because it'll probably make them happy... and it makes me happy, too.