A New Painting

Here's what I painted today.

The Water is Deep Enough

Life changes so fast! I look back at myself a year ago and wonder if I'm the same person at all. I don't know if I am. Our circumstances have made me shift everything about who I am. I would never have dreamed that God would allow Dave and I to follow our dreams so extravagantly. We have been able to travel, dive into crazy transitions and adventures, and the world is still wide open.

And now this next thing, that popped up surprisingly like the first few buds of spring. We're moving to Fort Langley. I'm going to be in a full-time dance program. The idea was so sudden, but felt so right, that we once again laughed at how God swept us off our feet into the next delight of life. He's situated us on a beautiful little property around amazingly inspiring people, with enough fields, animals, mountains, and trees to inspire my nature-hunger, and enough creative, vivacious people to get both Dave and I swirling away with vision and ideas of what to create next.



Dancing... yes, you may be surprised, but like music, it was for years more of a closet passion of mine. I am now officially stepping out of the closet with it in hopes that I won't be trampled, and in the hope that I can finally let this energy out of my body. It began when I was in preschool. I remember the first time in the class when someone asked us to draw a picture of what we wanted to be when we grew up. I drew a bEEAUtiful ballerina, (complete with the pink tu-tu, of course). I wanted to dance. I took a preschool ballet class for a year, loved it, and then got into it again later, when I was about 10. I quickly picked it up again, my passion for it unquenched by the few years of its absence. I was motivated to always be practicing and stretching at home, and I soon caught up to the other girls who had been taking it for years. But the other girls didn't seem to like that at all. They really made my time in class miserable, and I was pretty sensitive to people being mean to me back then. I finally told my mom I wanted to quit, even though my teacher was urging me to take on another class to go further with dancing. But I quit, all because of the girls, even though I didn't admit that to my mom then.



Ever since, I have regretted my choice to quit. I could have pushed through because I loved it so much. Yet I didn't. I think I really missed out. Now, I'm finally getting up the nerve to do it again, and I am timid yet persevering. I will stick with it. I will work hard this year, whether I'm up against my own battles or other people. I'm hoping this will be a really redeeming time for me. This dance school incorporates worship and lotsa the Holy Spirit into what they do, and they run like a support group and team for each other. Wow. I love that.

I'm so excited, but I have the feeling like I'm about to jump off a really high cliff, hoping the water is deep enough. The water is deep enough. The water is deep enough... (I'll be repeating that to myself.)

What's going on?

Dave and I snuggled up tonight to watch the newest batch of movie trailers on apple.com (a regular pasttime for us). There were a lot today... about 25 new ones. I was all excited and ready for it, (we both love movies) but after watching about 5 of them, I began to feel tired and bored and even depressed. Dave and I ended up skipping a lot of them half-way through.

I started to wonder why it wasn't fun tonight. We always avoid the horror previews, because those just freak me right out, so it wasn't that. I then noticed that all the new movies seemed to be kind of depressing and unhopeful. Even the comedies had darker, morbid elements to them. Why is this? What's going on with our movie industry these days? What's going on with the world that is demanding this kind of entertainment?

Maybe it has to do with what's going on in the world today. Wars. Bombs. Terrorists. Fear. The damaging sexual revolution. Maybe we are expressing the despair we feel around us, exploring the darker side of humanity... and I didn't even watch the most intensly dark previews!

Here's what I noticed: the connection that strung all these movies together, was the hazy line between good and evil. In all the previews, there was no wrong or right. No good and evil. No God... (But there was Satan). There were no heroes that made you want to live life and be strong, doing what you were made to do despite all the odds. There were no battles between good and evil. There were no really interesting plots, because how can you have a story worth watching if you don't know who's side to be on, if you don't know what's right and what's wrong?


Perhaps this is how the world feels right now, and how the people are expressing their confusion... not knowing whether or not to believe the media or their government leaders, or the political activists... wanting something more than a mediocher life, but not knowing what there is out there other than that. Everyone seems to be producing propoganda for something. Whether it's for their own personal gain or for the greater good of the world, it's so hard to tell these days.

Where are the Braveheart characters that make you think it's possible to do something noble in life? Where are the heroes who stay true to their marriage, who fight for justice, who feed the hungry, who protect the defenseless in life? I tell you, if someone made a (GOOD) movie where the main character was actually honest and noble and trustworthy, it would be a revolutionary idea in these days.

I'm sad to see where we are at. There is so much evil in the world, yet the evil is telling us that there IS no right and wrong, and that's the biggest scheme yet.

And now I'm telling you that there IS a right and wrong. There IS good and evil, and if we don't know that in our lives, we are going to be sideswiped off our feet by the wrong one. There is a God, and he has a noble mission for you in life. He has joy for you. He has good things for you, and hard things for you, but he loves you, so you can always trust him, and know that life is going to be an amazing adventure, no matter what the circumstances around you are. Can I hear an AMEN?

Ken-Doll

So I just remembered a funny story today...

When I was a kid, I LOVED barbies. I had a few hand-me-downs, and among all the girl-barbies, I had one Ken-barbie. He was a hand-me-down. He also had no legs. I used to imagine either that A: He was in a wheelchair, or B: His legs could do amazing moves that no other barbies could do... he could dance, do the splits, etc.

WELL, one day, I was in the store with my mom, and I asked her if I could get the Ken-doll that I saw on the wall. He had hawaiian shorts on, and no shirt. He would do for a good many male characters in the stories I would make up. I mean, he was no legless-dancing Ken doll, but he would fill a number of roles that were missing in my epic dramas.

My mom hummed and hawed for a little while, and then finally decided that I could get him... on ONE condition... that I would NEVER take his shorts off. I solemnly swore that I never would, and I believe I never did. They were his sacred shorts.

Of course, only about a year ago did I think of that again and realize the hilarity of the situation... I mean, it's not like they had any parts... but it was sweet that my mom wanted to protect my innocence. Ha ha!

Thanks God

I'm in Lilloet today, a small town on a valley plateau amidst massive rocky mountains. Dave and I drove here yesterday with our friend Garnet... on a whim and a slight feeling that it would be good and needed for us right now. Garnet was hired by his friend Mike (who lives in Lilloet) to run a 'media camp' for some First Nations kids on a reserve just out of town. Since Dave is a media-man and visionary cohort with Garnet, we came up too.

As we drove, I strained to look out the windows of the car at everything I could possibly take in. The mountains. The unique dry pine forests. The deep canyon that we followed along on the highway. The remote farms on grassy plateaus above the river. I had been craving something... I had been yearning for something, and I almost felt I might find it somewhere in the wild desert landscape around us. So I watched attentively. I took in the sunny day. I rolled down the window and let my hand be blasted by the warm wind rushing by. I told God how much I wanted to be refreshed and renewed and to know what I am living for... to know what I, Anna, am living for. What is my colour in the tapestry of life? I've lost it lately, or it's faded. I hoped for some purpose to be highlighted in my life... some bigger, important story to draw out my courage and valour. I know they must be in there somewhere.

Well, we arrived that night and then began the media workshop with the kids today. It was really good... they were a surprising bunch of kids -full of energy and fun. They loved using the cameras and goofing around in front of them. I left that afternoon with such a gladness that I had come... gladness that I had been a part of a team that was doing something simple... but good. I felt a piece of joy being put back in me. Just a little piece, but it was something.

Later on in the evening, 4 of us took a hike along the Fraser river to see a waterfall. The rocky peaks far above us were warmed with the orange light of the low sun, and the sky was a white, almost light-pink colour. As I walked along the trail through the woods in the warm August air, something began to well up in me again. All the discouragement, disappointment, and apathy of what I've felt in the last few months began to melt. The sound of the river, the peace of the sky, the power of the mountain range... "I'm a country girl!" I yelled out loudly, my companions smiling amusedly. Yes, funny, but that's all I could think to say at that moment of gladness. I thought about it: "Why do I feel so strangled by the city... so dead, but when I enter the wilderness, I feel passion for life come to me again?"

The waterfall was cool and refreshing to see, and I touched my fingers in the swiftly flowing liquid. I was being filled more and more with life and refreshment... that by the time we started hiking back, I took off in a sprint ahead of the others. I couldn't help it. It felt like if I didn't run, I would combust. I haven't had so much energy in a while. I ran far, with long strides, feeling my lungs work once again with long breaths, feeling like I was almost floating. I was renewed. I was so thankful, and it was flowing out of me like the river I ran alongside.

Sometimes I wish I could live out here, in the wilderness, but I know that it's just for refreshment for me right now. I know also that if I had come out to Lilloet aimlessly, with no team or goal, I would have still felt as lost as I did before. There is something in the pouring out that allows more from God to be poured in.

When we got back to our starting point, at the car, we stood and took in the first few stars that were coming out, still chatting... Dave lifted his arms with his shirt off, and then, to our surprise, he dropped his pants! The rest of us looked at him and laughed out loud... (of course he had his undies on still). He said he just wanted to let the breeze flow through him. So I guess I wasn't the only one receiving something from this beautiful place.

So I'm thankful. I'm thankful for renewed passion for life. I'm thankful that God is so kind that he brings along what we need right at the exact moment that we most need it. I'm thankful that there are such places that are so beautiful that they inspire spontaneous dreaming, sprinting, pant-dropping, and laughing. I am thankful for the place that God has for me in this world, that must be more than just having what I want and need. I'm thankful that his role for me in SO much more. I'm thankful for his company on this journey.

Langley

Here are a few photos near where we are in Langley. This spot was so interesting.



Dave is smoking his Gandalf-pipe. He loves that pipe... and it gives him a reason to come for walks and photo trips with me, too... so I love his pipe, too.

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Comment away, anyone. I finally did change the settings. I think anyone without a blog account can respond now. Try it out. Lay it on me, as it says.

How to Have Fun... by Anna

This is a little example of how you can have fun.... even on a day when you were all ready to go out to a potluck breakfast at your friend's house, but when you got in the car, lo and behold, the batteries had died because you left the lights on last night to look for your purse before you came in the house.

This is how you can have fun even though it's the second time this week that you've been ready to go to some gathering with friends, party-food in hand, and something has not worked out, and you can't get there.

Just so you know, you can still have fun. You can still laugh and be goofy and silly and stuff like that.

So let's go find something to do that's fun.

Hmmmmmmm... what shall I do, what shall I do, what shall I do?


Hey! There's a swing!


Okay, this'll be fun. Let's get on...


All right... ready to go. ONE...... TWO.................. THREEEEEEEEE...............!


Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!


WoooooooooooooHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! LOOK! NO HANDS!


PAAAARTEEEEEEEEEE!


AAAAAAAALL RIIIIIIIIGHT!!!


WOH-HO-HOOOOOOO!


WOOOOOOOA!


YAY!


So there you have it: How to have a little fun... Anna style.

a new song

After many many moons of not writing music, yesterday, I wrote a new song. I don't know what it is... but I'll go for months of not writing any music at all, and then I'll one day pick up the guitar, and I'll be hearing new melodies and words in my head that I'm pretty sure aren't just echos of the latest pop-songs on the radio. Yeah, I hear it... like I'm not writing at all, but listening... listening hard... sometimes I'll write down the wrong line, and I'll have to stop, go back, and listen some more. It's really interesting how they flow.

So... this new song is about lack-of inspiration. I guess I found it, again. Thanks God.

Oh, MY, GOODNESS. Look at this photo I just found... how fitting.

Treehouse

The other day I was sitting under this big oak tree in the backyard of the place where we are staying. I dragged over one of the cushioned lawn chairs to lie in the shade and have a quiet time. At the base of the tree was the beginning stages of a treehouse, neglected some years ago and aging with the weather. It was roofless, though the beginning of roof's frame was made. It was obviously for kids, because the roof was quite low.

Anyway, I tried to ignore it, because it was kind of unsightly and was botching up my view, so I leaned the chair back as far as it goes, and looked up into the branches.

I started to imagine like I was when I was a kid, how I would have loved a treehouse, then thought, why just back then? I would love one now! What if I was to build my own treehouse? What would be in it? If I had a tree as large and tall as this one, what would I do with it?

I began to think of big nets strung tightly up high in the branches, that you could climb into and lounge in. Winding staircases to multiple levels of platforms, a hamock somewhere, a big lower-level with some comfy chairs, and last but not least.... a pulley system from the up-most platform, so you could jump on a rope from up there and be slowly lowered down (depending on how heavy you were compared to the weights on the other end of the line, that is.)

It's good to dream. I dreamed in that spot for a good while. Maybe it's just me, but I need to dream about new ideas every week or two to keep myself going. I like to sit and think about how to put intricate things together, or how to make things pleasing to the eye, or how to capture a scene in a painting, or how to fly... I think in the past I have felt guilty for sitting down for long periods of time to do this (thinking it's like laziness), but recently I've decided not to worry about it any more. It's not time wasted. It's valuable, and sometimes the best ideas in life come when I just lie down. I'm a dreamer.

So, what would be in your personal treehouse? If it could be anywhere in the world, where would it be? What colours? What features? In what kind of tree?

Dream away... and let me know.

(p.s. I've altered the settings so anyone can respond now, even without a blogger account)