hello beautiful new house!

We are in a nice new house today... we're housesitting for some friends of some friends. The place has a volleyball court in the back yard, along with a firepit (I love fires outside)! Oh, the joy of staying with people and not having our own place to tend to.

I can't say how unburdening it's been not having a place... I don't have stuff to clean up, I don't have phone bills or internet bills or hydro bills, I'm unable to be posessive and selfish about 'my space', I'm learning how to find peace even if there's lots of change going on around me, and every time I DO clean up where I am, I consider it as blessing whoever I'm staying with, not a chore. It's really a great way to live... for now. I'm sure very soon Dave and I will start to go wacky from not being able to settle in somewhere and get down to business.

But for now, I'm still loving it. Yes, God has provided for us immensely since we've been back, and I can't believe how kind and lovely people have been to us, inviting us into their homes and lives for little stints. Thank you to everyone who has taken us in or even offered to take us in... you are invaluable to us, and you're really showing us what it means to be a community of Christ. We love you all.

Yo yo. Until later.

5 Things...

Okay, I've been tagged by Laura to do this...

5 Things in my PURSE:
-always hand cream (dry hands... uuuuuggggh.)
-sunglasses (I'd get headaches without)
-pen & writing book (for momentary inspiration or boredom)
-about 4 different kinds of lip-glosses (don't know why)
-a light sweater (for that one day a month during the summer that I'll get cold and wish I had it.)


5 Things in my CLOSET (really, my BAG):
-slide photos from our journeys
-ziploc bags
-various sample soaps (I had been keeping who knows how many sample soaps in our house and decided to use them on our trip)
-watercolour pad & paints
-cool London coat

5 Things in my (family's) REFRIGERATOR:
-TOOOO many jams
-TOOOO many condiments for random things
-4 litres of milk for Frances
-leftover pasta & cheese-sauce made today for lunch
-a cheesecake slice wrapped in tin-foil

5 THings in my (parent's) CAR:
-a lot of dirt from transporting building supplies
-dog blanket
-a box of things we gave my parents 2 months ago when they came over (that hasn't left the car yet)
-a dish belonging to Laura & Ryan (It was in the box! I found it!)
-hopefully my shoes that I lost

AND A NEW CATEGORY:

5 Things in my BRAIN:
-paintings that I have to do
-my niece Frances who's crying upstairs and DOES NOT want to go to bed
-too much dinner in my tummy
-when will my husband get bored of computers?
-the meaning of my life these days


Okay, I tag SHARON! Go!

Focus.... focus...

Whew! Haven't written in a few days, because I was sick and, for a day, PUKING. Anyone else have that one? Anyone? I hear my friend Becky had it... yes, puke puke puke until you're just not puking anything at all? Thought you were going to pass out or die? Thought it would never end? Well, it does end, just in case you catch this bug. It'll leave you a bit emaciated for a few days, but you'll survive it.

Sooooo... I'm back to walking, but have to lounge around a lot, which is why you find me here, on the blog.

Do you ever feel like there's so much to get your head around in life, bits and pieces, work, friends here and there, projects, trips, where you're going to live, what your goals are, etc... that you just stop thinking all together?

My sister Teresa and I were talking about what we focus on in life and how stress gets in sometimes. We were also reading this little devotional book that was talking about the focus of your heart... there were 4 focuses...

there was the focus on the how others see you and what they say about you,

the focus on how you THINK others see you,

the focus on how you see yourself,

and the focus on how God sees you.

We discussed this, and wondered which one consumed most of our thoughts... both of us said it was the focus on how we see ourselves. It comes from a good intention to do and be the right thing... but because we aren't looking at the pure truth (how God sees us), we are going to screw up and get stressed and start worrying about the wrong things.

I heard someone say the other day, and it REALLY hit me like I needed to hear it again, "LIfe isn't about you. IT's about GOD." I was startled at this truth, and realized that I must have started orbiting around my own self lately. That's really a crappy thing to realize, but it was good.

Okay, it's not all about me.

So next time I feel like things are too much for me to handle, I've just got to say, "Hey, stop worrying... this is about God here, and what he wants to do. Ask him about it. See if HE's being honoured and glorified in this, or if I'm sort of being honoured more than him here."

That's all for now.

Where Do The STARS Go?

Hey, has anyone else wondered where the stars are on Star Trek? When they go into warp speed, you see them kind of whiz by, but they never seem to encounter them close-up.

Didn't our science teachers tell us they were burning balls of fire, thousands of miles away? THen why do they look like dust particles in all the space movies? Well, the Enterprise, I KNOW, is exploring other galaxies, so they must have gone as far as some stars are from earth, yet we never see any. I wonder if there would be a place that instead of being an asteroid field, you'd find a 'star field', with a possy of stars just hanging out together, burning away like there's no tomorrow. Maybe I should write Spoc or Data and share this pondering with them.

Anyone have any idea? Do we even ever see any other suns on Star Trek? I don't think so... yet all the planets are strangely lit by SOMETHING. (Something that looks a lot like studio lighting). So where did all the stars go, where do they live, and are they really just holes poked in the sky? Maybe that's the real answer.

Now I haven't actually seen ALL the star treks there are to see... that would take several years, perhaps, so maybe I'm speaking from a limited perspective, and maybe some episodes, they encounter stars. Who knows? Do you?

oh dear oh dear.

So I was so excited today because, monumentally, one of my songs was going to be on the radio. Yes, the actual, real, RADIO. My friend Sarah had kindly sent my CD into Praise 106.5. They have a 'new music' program, and Sarah informed me that they accepted my CD to play a song from in this program on Monday afternoon. I was all thrilled. A few days before, I started to hear from different people that they heard the DJ's announce my name and mention that I would be played on Monday.

Anyways, Monday rolls around, and Dave, my brother-in-law Gregg, my sister Laura, and I turned on all the radios in the house (stereo sound) to hear my song (which somehow would be so much more exciting to hear when you know that tons of other people could be hearing it at that same moment, too.)

Well, it comes time, and they say that the next song is "Satisfied", by Anna Vandas. We listened. I heard this song that was NOT me... I thought, "maybe they meant the one AFTER this one is my song. This song is pretty bad." They were playing some a very badly-sung and recorded version of "Step by Step". Following this song, the DJ announces, "That was Anna Vandas, who goes to North Shore Alliance Church, and that song was called 'Satisfied'. www.annavandas.com".

WHAT?

How obnoxious was that? How rude. My first thought was, "they'll say they made a mistake any minute now... any minute... any minute now..." and I waited.

Nope. Nada. They just continued on with their programming obliviously.

I was so frustrated. Not only was I disappointed, but they put my name to something that I actually thought sounded terrible. GREEEEEAT. No one will be visiting annavandas.com ANYTIME soon. OH well. My name was said on the radio. Maybe that's enough.

Well, we tried to call, no answer... we left a message, no response. My sister then sent an email explaining their error, and they apologized and said they'd play it next Monday at the same time.

Sooooo... I'll try again. Try, try again. I'll listen again on my tiptoes, and maybe do a fun little flailing dance-o'-joy when I hear myself. Then I may jump in the car, blast it, roll down the windows, wave flags, flash passers-by, and scream like a maniac.

Okay, maybe not any of that car part... But it WILL be dancing, and it will be pretty cool, so if you're somewhere near a radio on Monday, or a computer that you can listen to the live stream of it on, tune in, and email them to request me again!

David my David

As I was working today, washing, sanding, painting a kitchen, I was thinking about how lucky I am to have Dave. There I was, feeling a bit sorry for myself that my shoulders were sore and that it was too hot out, and I was stuck in this tiny kitchen with paint fumes all day... even though I appreciate the work and don't mind the activity. I was being kind of silly. (Call it PMS or what you will). Anyway, back to Dave. I started to think about Dave.

I started thinking about how he wouldn't complain if he were in my shoes today. I started thinking about how lucky I was to have someone not only so HOT, (tee hee), but who is solidly-good in so many ways. Deeply good. Not just surfacy-nice. No, deeply good. It makes life hard, because I'm held to a high standard of life. I realized then that I should probably stop internally moaning about my day.

"Sigh," I thought to myself, "Dave is good for me. He's not even here and he's made me stop whining. Truly a blessing that boy is to me."

Here's some things I realized about my Dave as I thought more about it:

-he is the most unjudgemental person I know. He almost never holds grudges or writes someone off as a failure and not worth his time. He has time for the highest and low-liest person you can find, and treats them with no distinction. He would –if God led him– pray for, encourage, and even rebuke anyone who God asked him to, even if it was Bono (which would be crazy for Dave, let me tell you... but he would do it.)

-Dave is not in any way insecure. He knows who he is, he knows who his Daddy is, and he's secure in that. He does what he has passion to do, whether the world says it's possible or not. He wouldn't put on any fake mood or personality for the prime minister, or the bum on the street.

-He is always changing. He is always spurring himself (and me) to grow and change and overcome obstacles. He won't be apathetic... yet he knows how to REALLY rest when he needs it.

-Dave will say he's sorry. He will change if someone finds fault with him. He begins the change as soon as he is aware of any shortcomings. He deals with pain, he cleans it off, and he grows.

-Dave will stop to pray for anyone who needs it. He doesn't run around thinking that God can't get anything done without him... he just knows that he has been so loved, and wants desperately for people to receive love from God, too. He always has a moment to pray for people.

-Dave lives by faith. Not by the laws of the world. This boy has major faith in what God promises, and he fights to find out what those promises are, and he fights to live them out, even against opposition from the logical brain of the world.

-He wants to impact this world. He dreams big. He knows how God has gifted him, and nothing's going to stop him.

-Dave's passion starts fires among people he knows. He inspires others to their own craziest dreams, or to pull on God's arm until they hear his voice. The first time I ever spent time with Dave as a friend, I came back so excited... I wanted to live life, I wanted to dream, and I felt that finally it was possible.

-last but not least, Dave is a great snuggler. (I will say no more... blush!)


That's my Dave. Don't wear him out.
(does that saying work here?)

Love you, Dave.

buck teeth?

Is it just me, or do I look like I have buck teeth in my profile photo? It may be the poor pixelation on my computer, and the photo being that small size... it looks like I have really white, buck teeth. Perhaps I should change that.

Oh boy, my blogs are getting really silly now. BORING!

OH... sweet procrastination....

I am currently procrastinating. Yay for me! Yes, it's one of those days... one of those weeks, in fact. I have a painting to do, and this is my one day left to do it, and here I am, sitting at the computer, blogging about not doing it. I even looked up 'procrastination.com', and they have games to play, tell you that it's okay to procrastinate, and have t-shirts to commemorate procrastination that you can order. I don't think I'll indulge THAT far in it today.

It's so hard to get things started sometimes... even if you love to do them. Sometimes the initial effort of just getting up and DOING something is the hardest part about the entire task. Why? Do I think I'll fail? Do I think I'll get bored? Or do I think there's no purpose? Or do I just not care enough?

Maybe all of the above.

Lord, kick me in the butt and rid me of this apathy!



Yesterday, my procrastination consisted of cutting my family's lawn, cleaning up the yard, trimming the bushes, oggling my nieces, and eating, of course. That was all fun, of course, but it was overhung with this responsibility to go and do my painting that's waiting for me. Then, of course, at the end of the day I feel crappy and aimless and like I have no purpose in life and WHY? All because I procrastinated all day.

BUT no more... YOU are my witness that RIGHT NOW, I'm getting up, and I'm going to set up my space, and PAINT. Okay? Not only that, it's going to be beautiful. It's going to be annointed with God's peace and his presence, and it's going to be easy and a joy to do. Okay? You are my witness. Ask me about it later.

Signing out.

I used a Christmas Mug.

Okay, so after that last blog, I just used a Christmas mug/thermos yesterday because that was the only kind of thermos in my family's house. I have to say, my tea still tasted good... but not AS good. Maybe.

What kind of mugs do you like?

Is it just me, or can anyone else not use a Christmas mug when it's not Christmas? I take it down from the shelf, take one look at the Santa Clauses and Ruldolphs in in red and green, and say, "oh no", putting it right back in the cupboard.

Why is that? I simply can't handle using it in the summer.



This brings me to another subject... some people need the whole matching sets of mugs that look uniformed and nice in the cupboard, and some people need a cute cup from each season and for each occasion. You know, one with a music note on it if you're a musician, a photo of your child on another if you're a mommy, a "world's best uncle" mug, a "happy valentines day" mug, a garfield comic mug, etc. My friend Becky and I were laughing about this, because she is the kind of person who needs a cute mug for each occassion, and her husband just wants all nice-looking, matching mugs. So what do you do? How do you work these things out in marriage? Have lots of mugs for both of you, I guess.



Ha ha. I like my mugs matching and pretty-looking, of course (I'm an artist, after all), either that or all hand-made, big, and rough-looking. And there's something about little espresso mugs & saucers that sucks me in each time.

Well, enough about mugs. Mugs mugs mugs.

What are your favourite kind of mug?

Do I hate TOYS-R-US?

A question I had today as Dave and I were walking along Broadway, looking at shops was... Do I hate Toys-R-Us? I sure have strong feelings towards it. It may just be because I was feeling a little grumpy and against-consumerism at the moment we walked by it, but I definitely have major 'no' feelings with that place. Dave slowed his pace as we passed, gazing into the window quietly, and I said, "Do you want to go in?" He said yes, so I went in with him.

The place was huge, with primary colours, obnoxious patterns, and cartoon-faces flashing before my eyes under the badly-flickering neon lights. I proceeded, wanting to close my eyes and run for the door. I just followed Dave like a lamb being led through dangerous terrain. I heard a kid screaming and wailing for something he wanted that his parents weren't buying for him in the next aisle. I saw the X-BOX Nintendo banner above the enourmous video-games section at the other end of the store. Actually, I wanted to pass out from the stimulation. Not only that, but I was smelling all sorts of plasticky smells... you know they scent the toys now? Yes, for extra stimulation. And we're wondering why so many kids have A.D.D these days? I mean, come ON! Who was the genius who decided to make baby-toys with patterns, smells and sounds all in one? A little too much?

Anyway, as I went through the store, barely able to focus on anything, I remembered a memory from when I was about 6 or 7 years old. I was walking through the Barbie aisle of a department store with my mom. I happened to see a BEAUTIFUL barbie in a probably a pink princess dress that I fancied right away. I picked it off the shelf and started to ask my mom for it. I begged and moaned and pleaded, and my mother replied to me a simple and firm answer: "No."

Now, you would think that this would have been a heart-wrenching memory for me, where I didn't get something I really wanted and I was always scarred by it... but it wasn't. My mom would often let me get my one sugary-snack when we went shopping at the grocery store. My parents loved getting me a few gifts that I really wanted on my birthday and at Christmas. The "no" in the department store was okay with me, after I got over it in the moment. In fact, I kind of found some comfort in the fact that she had said "no" to me, and I recognized that pretty soon after. Why? I think it's the 'boundaries' thing. Kids need boundaries. They need limits sometimes to keep from being frivilous and unappreciative of good things... to keep them from being poisoned by greed and selfishness. Man, I sound like some strict utilitarian here, but I think boundaries teach us patience, self-control, and kindness... things that are fruits of the Spirit of God. I actually valued my mother's "no" at that time more than I would have valued her getting the barbie-doll for me impulsively. It made me feel like my mom was in charge, and that she was looking out for my deeper needs. I needed someone else to make some decisions for me at that point so that I could be a kid and not worry about adult things. I was grateful for it.

This brings me to another thing... I didn't live the decked-out spoiled life as a kid. My parents were kind and generous as I said, but we weren't overflowing in riches, and my parents didn't spoil us with stuff we didn't need. I played with a lot of hand-me downs from my sisters. I played in the park behind our house- that didn't require any toys to have amazing adventures in. My sister Michal made me all my barbie accessories, including a barbie convertible car made out of carboard, a barbie hot-tub made out of the styrofoam that came with her gettoblaster, and many more. We had a playground of our imaginations to romp in. My dad was also particularly good at getting us toys to discover life with... microscopes, magnifying glasses, science books, fimo, (not to mention booger & fart books... hee hee), and much more.


So I don't know... I'm kind of an advocate for simplicity with kids... they have enough to discover of life without all the crazy Toys R Us distractions we sometimes think they need.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MICHAL!

This is a little dedication to my big sister (and by big I mean 'oldest'). As yesterday was her birthday, (HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHAL!), and I forgot (oh the shame) to email her or skype her a happy birthday, I have decided to write a little about her on my blog. There is so much to write about Michal. Michal is 11 years older than me, which means that she is now 34 (congrats!). She is a flamboyant, artistic, goofy, kind, strong, optimistic, vivacious, generous, adventurous, introspective, and crazy woman.


Let me tell you a few interesting things about this girl...

1. Michal is a painter. I particularly like to tell people that she paints nudes, because she does. She also paints a lot of other stuff, but it was very fun to say for a while that my sister's a nude-painter. Ha ha!
No, but really, she's incredibly gifted. I remember her doing some sketches in highschool when she was in grade 8 or 9... I was amazed by them then, and still am when I see them now! She has always had crazy talent there.

2. Michal used to be obsessed with all things medieval & fairy-tale-ish. Yes, she dressed me up in a princess-dress one day, put dried flowers in my hair, and took very 'Ophelia'-like photos of me. She also collected and sewed many a medieval dress (often she would convert a value-village frock into one.) She was responsible for a lot of my fantastical imagination... she would always tell us sisters made-up stories.

3. Michal is a crazy world-adventurer. Yes, right out of highschool, Michal took off to Haiti, then to Kenya a few years later, and has also lived in Italy, different cities in Canada, and England. She has a gift of making a 'home' wherever she chooses to live, creating a little life for herself as if she always lived there. She is able to adapt to wherever she is.

4. Michal is an amazing cook. She can whip up a batch of homemade perogies in an hour! That's a record among our family... she is such a good cook, and she's always having people over for food.

And just in case you're reading this and you happen to be a single man around her age who thinks this Michal woman is sounding pretty good, TOO BAD! She's engaged. Happily, to Nigel, our new brother-to-be from England. And he's a really good one, so you're really out of luck.

Okay, so michal, I love you. Happy birthday.

A little Wedding Story

I was just looking through photos on our computer to paint from, and I came across our wedding photos. We had digital photos taken, and i've never gotten them printed, so every time I come across them on the hard drive, I look at them for a few moments, re-living the fun.



On Dave & my wedding day, I was so peaceful. Really, really peaceful. It was so great to know that God approved this marriage and that he had chosen us for each other, (that'll be another story for the next blog!). Anyway, my family prayed for me in the lobby of the church before I walked up the aisle, while everyone was waiting silently in the pews for the ceremony to start.



My funny little story has to do with my dad. He is always like a big kid, or a big teddy bear to little children who seem to LOVE my dad. The four of us sisters have always said that when my parents become empty-nesters, they won't have any issues that normal parents have– because they will entertain each other. And it's true. Sometimes, growing up, we would hear my parents giggling like kids together in another room in the house, and we'd smile to ourselves, feeling lucky that our parents were light-hearted and loving with each other.



Anyway, on my wedding day, we were all lined up in the lobby of the church– my sisters, my friend Jessica, my Dad, and I– waiting to walk up the aisle... when my dad reached into his pocket, grabbed a small green grape in his big hands, and popped it into his mouth.
When some of us noticed, he said something like, "I always get hungry, and thought it would be a while until we ate!" then he pulled out a few more and said, "grape anyone?"

We all laughed. I asked if he had a bag of them in there, and he said, no, he had just put a bunch of grapes straight in there.

It was great.

I even put it into my speech about my family later on during the reception.

Aah, what a fun day.

Fart Book- not for the faint-hearted

I recall when I was a kid my dad bought us "the Fart Book" and "The Booger Book". In these books were detailed cartoons and descriptions of the different kinds of Farts and Boogers that there are in life. I thought it was hilarious. So did my sister Laura, who seemed to also be in the stage when that stuff is hilarious.

I was so inspired, I wrote a book. Yes, I wrote my own book. I wrote my own FART book. Unpublished, of course, except among my friends. In it, I made up all sorts of my own names for farts. I even dedicated one kind to my Dad.

Now, I think it's ironic that I, a girl who wrote a fart book at age 11, ended up marrying a guy who is disgusted with all bodily functions. I'm not just talking that he says 'gross' when a toot comes up. No, he practically gags if blood, guts, vomit, feces, piddle, or farts are even talked about. (I can picture him reading this blog, and turning away when he got to that sentence to recover himself.) When I once asked him, "Don't YOU fart sometimes?" He replied, "I have a clean-burning system."

And I think it's true. At first, I was a little perturbed by Dave's absense of farting & talking about any of that stuff. I'm not exagerating, either. He has ONCE, count em, ONCE farted in front of me in the entire length of our relationship. But then, I realized something... that most other women are trying to get their husbands to stop farting in front of them... and are pretty sick of bathroom humour. I started to think, hey! I have this pretty good!

The only thing left to face is... when I go into labour with our first child one day. I think we may need a personal nurse for Dave, who may be turning white and fainting.

I love you Dave!

Here's where I am RIGHT NOW.

Here's where I am today. Andy & Jolie's house. They're really great people. In fact, I've even quoted them in my blog about Beauty.

How You Used to Be

So I was sitting on my friend's couch daydreaming by myself today, (as is one of the nicest activities to recap how life is going and find some peace)... and an old friend of mine came to mind. Let's call him... 'Jim'. I remembered how we used to hang out and talk a lot, sometimes into the wee hours of the morning, sometimes going for walks (though it wasn't a romantic thing). He used to really open up sometimes... I didn't know why he seemed to feel safe around me, but he really would talk about his life issues and analyze them, almost just talking to himself, processing. I recall that I would just be quiet, listen, and let him go on while he wrestled with who he was, his up-bringing, and his life. I liked listening. It seemed unique to hear these things from him, because he could be a bit, well, rowdy and rude in front of groups. He would often get some really angry reactions from the quips he came up with in the moment.

Well, I haven't seen Jim in years now... you know how friends drift in and out of your life. Anyway, my thought about it all today was, I hope I affirmed him as a person enough. I mean, do we ever really think about encouraging our friends when we're teenagers? Do we ever really think to encourage them and bless them? Sometimes people just need someone to tell them that they're a good person, and that they're appreciated, and that they have an important place in this world. I couldn't remember if I had ever said that to him. Well, it made me pray for him as I was lying down today.

Then it led me to another thought... what was I like as a person when I was 15? Would I have thought about others that much? Wouldn't it be interesting and embarrassing to go back and watch a hidden movie of yourself at a younger age? Your person is developing so much, and especially when you're a teenager, you're so self-centered, and everything is about you and the attention you get, how you look, how you feel... I know I was probably careless and hurtful to people many a time.

I remember once, a bunch of people from church came over to my family's house for lunch. We all ate together in the kitchen, and then everyone went into the living room to lounge. I was in the kitchen doing something by myself, and this guy, let's call him 'John', came into the room (John was about 7 or 8 years older than me).

"Anna, do you know that sometimes you're REALLY RUDE. The way you glared at me when I made that joke was really awful. You are so cold and mean to me sometimes." he said straight-out.

I was so shocked that I had somehow unknowingly offended him. It really made me think about how I treated people. I mean, he was a little bit forward, but every so often, you need a good verbal spanking like that to put you in your place. Actually, looking at the date, it's about time for another one for me to come along. (Ha ha. Joke. Unless someone really has an issue they'd like to bring up.... preferably in person and not on my blog... ha ha.)

Over and out.

Adios.

Au revoir.

Beauty.

Let's talk about beauty.

I think there's such a skewed view of beauty these days, we don't really know what it is anymore. We see someone we pass in the mall, and we think, 'wow, they're hot.' That's not really BEAUTY though. I think there is a real 'beauty' that God gifted people with, and it's not what you see on the models in the fashion magazines doing their 'I'm so cool that I'm bored' poses.

Have you seen the Dove-Campaign for real beauty ads? Those are actually beautiful. They take regular looking women, and catch them in a joy-exuding moment. When I first saw one of those commercials on TV, I almost jumped up, and said, "YES! That's IT! NOW we're getting somewhere!"



Girls, it is okay to be beautiful. In fact, it's a gift... but the strongest and most stunning beauty is the kind that makes you almost not even notice what the person looks like externally. I'm thinking of someone I know... an older woman... Wendy Hardy. She has grey hair, smile wrinkles around her eyes and mouth, and every time I look at her, I think of beauty and warmth, and it makes me look forward to growing older. She hasn't done any plastic surgery to make herself look younger, or hotter, or sexier (I cringe even putting those words in the same paragraph as her). It's this pure, warm, loving, God-present joy in her.

I have also noticed the other kind of 'beauty'... when women dress to the nine, do up their make-up, wear as many accessories as possible, and seem every bit as unapproachable as Madonna. Everyone feels too intimidated to talk to them. Yet, I think it's not really the dressing up that does that. I like to dress up sometimes. I like to put on make-up, and I enjoy wearing jewellery. It's not these things that's wrong. It's something else that's going on inside them. It's the competitive act of dressing up to be the best and the most beautiful. It's a cover-up of insecurity that says: I'm perfect- and if I'm not, you're sure not going to see it. It's the need to be skinny, sexy, and the object of every man's fantasy. Why?-- to be loved.



I guess that's a really sad place to be (and I don't mean sad-pathetic. I mean sad in empathy). I guess the girls I feel intimidated by are probably longing for THE love-affair of their life to happen, and they haven't been satisified yet. I don't mean a husband, because that's not even it. Nope, that won't fill it. Sorry. It's God's love-affair with you, as cheesy as you may think that sounds.

My friend Jolie and I were talking on this beauty subject, and she related this story of another older woman she knows. Jolie dropped by her house one day, and this woman was still in her bathrobe and pajamas. They stood there in her living room joking and laughing together, Jolie in her clothes, and this woman in her PJ's. Jolie said it was the nicest, most beautiful thing she had seen.

So I guess it comes down to this... it's okay to be beautiful. It's a gift from God. If you like dressing up, that's fine, too. But another friend of mine (Jolie's husband Andy) said this once: If you like to dress up in front of people, that's good. But don't do it every time. Have some times where they see you in your pajamas, or in your grubs, or without any make-up on, or with your bed-head still matting up your hair. Be real. Because then, your friends won't feel like they always have to be done up in front of you, and it'll create a safety with them.

Okay, so Andy wasn't talking about beauty, he was talking about having your house clean all the time verses messy, but I think it applies to your body, too.

So that's a long blog, but it's how I feel.

My new favourites...

Hey, does anyone know of Joe Purdy? I recently discovered his music, and have really been enjoying it. I recommend checking it out on ITunes... He's kind of folk-style, and has a really great sound.

He has an album called "Julie Blue- a river album". And that's what it is... every song is kind of on the same subject... a river. Yet, it's not redundant. It's so unique to write a whole album with such a common threadline between all the songs, but it makes for such a relaxing, easy listen. He just came out with a new album, and I've heard a few songs from it that sound pretty good so far.

My favourite artist of all time has to be....... drumrooooolllll..... DAMIEN RICE. OOOH! SOOO Good. My friend Trevor says listening to Damien Rice is like a hit of really good drugs... if either of us actually knew what that felt like, Damien Rice would be it.

Yuppity yuppity.

That's all for now. Extremely random.

Oh... I'm also really into David Ruis right now for worship. Very well done... Lily of the Valley is such a good song.

Okee dokee.

Later.

My CUTE nieces

Okay... a moment to oggle my cute nieces, Plava (a nickname) and Frances... (Frances is the one with the crazy hair).

How did they get so cute? I mean, wow. Is it just because I'm related to them? I think not. These babies are so cute. I wonder when Dave and I will have kids... I mean, I wonder that about every month since we've been married... just because there's now constantly the possibility that I COULD be pregnant. It's really very funny. No, but just in case anyone read that last line too quick, I'd like to clarify that I AM NOT PREGNANT currently.

Isn't it wierd how babies grow inside a woman's body? I mean, it's so natural, yet I watched my sisters' when they were pregnant with some kind of awe... it was like watching the movie Alien, except minus the horror part... and minus the gross goo... minus the aliens, the horrifying mating scenes, the fact that the Aliens came out of the chest... and minus the fact that I've never actually watched the whole movie.

So there it is. Back to Plava and Frances... it's cute how Plava is a little comedian already. She's SO goofy, like her mom! Frances is very different. She has her funny moments, but she's really gentle, sensitive, and speaks softly with a cute little rasp in her voice. I love them very much.

Okay, that's all. What a random blog this was!

COURAGE! YEOW!

Soooo... I am a musician... and a painter... and other things, too. I guess we should never be labeled just one thing... it could be mentally limiting. ANYWAY... what I was going to say is this: I am a musician. I just put out my first CD this last November, and I just got some photos from the cd release party that a friend of mine took... yesterday.

I have to say, it's the strangest thing to see photos of that event so long after it happened. All the craziness and excitement around that day is long-passed. It's wierd... like looking at someone else be on stage as the centre of attention (something that kind of freaks me out). I look pretty chill somehow.

This music-thing is so strange. Never thought I'd be doing performances and making an actual album, but I think if I had never done it, I would always be wishing I had had the courage to do so. You kind of have to get over the fact that you are not perfect... not the perfect musician, not the perfect performer, not the perfect writer, not the perfect singer, etc... but once you let that go, it's kind of an interesting and fun journey. And if you get just 1 or 2 people who encourage you, and maybe a few more people who even like your music, then you seem to have just enough juice to keep going.

I'm making this sound very unappealing and really a struggle. I guess I'm in limbo-land with music right now. That's why. I haven't written in a while, and I should be doing shows, but it's like biting on my own tongue to make the calls to book some. I guess it comes back to that courage thing again... COURAGE, ANNA!

Now, I'm going to pull a Garnet Campbell here... he always turns his conversations into preaches....

Maybe there's something you feel a bit afraid to do in life, but you know that it would fulfill your deepest desires to do... well, I say COURAGE to you, in Jesus' name. Yeah. Preach it.

my new blog

Hello hello new blog. Only you and me know about this one so far... that's kind of nice... a temporary secret. I was on MySpace, but I didn't love the system, and using this one a bit seemed more what I wanted... just an online journal that I can post my pics & thoughts on.

Yup. yupp. I have to say that my sister Laura inspired me. Yes, she did. I like that she uses her blog as kind of an outlet for the ramblings of the day... yes, that sounds fun.

Well, hello ramble page. I hope we have fun.

Over and out.